I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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