She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
