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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before

  (806): View more from Texas

  he probably also told you he thought u were pretty

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations

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• (650): View more from California

  Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does

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• (386): View more from Florida

  i think my cat just said my name.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.

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