im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
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I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.