Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?

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  (601): I'm looking for sex. Do you know her? http://tfl.nu/33yl
  Replies (2) Good night (1560) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.

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  (716): He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly. http://tfl.nu/0f1o
  Replies (5) Good night (937) Bad night (1574)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.

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  (336): Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom. http://tfl.nu/g9fv
  Replies (2) Good night (1301) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.

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  (619): I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome. http://tfl.nu/x3tk
  Replies (11) Good night (2685) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.

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  (952): It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix. http://tfl.nu/eau6
  Replies (3) Good night (704) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier

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  (616): Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier http://tfl.nu/md1b
  Replies (2) Good night (2218) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken

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  (914): I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken http://tfl.nu/q5lf
  Replies (5) Good night (854) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  I thought I could.

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  (623): You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!' (1-623): I thought I could. http://tfl.nu/l4oh
  Replies (4) Good night (3269) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.

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  (850): You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster. http://tfl.nu/k8oo
  Replies (2) Good night (1422) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real

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  (603): Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real http://tfl.nu/3eg3
  Replies (2) Good night (1110) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom

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  (402): If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom http://tfl.nu/036d
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"

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  (304): Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home" http://tfl.nu/2t6k
  Replies (3) Good night (908) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.

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  (410): I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling. http://tfl.nu/eba9
  Replies (3) Good night (478) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  I put a zucchini in my pussy for you

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  (325): I put a zucchini in my pussy for you http://tfl.nu/c2jl
  Replies (8) Good night (573) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.

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  (413): I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life. http://tfl.nu/tpxd
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (180)

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