today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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