Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day