Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

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  (651): Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward. http://tfl.nu/djmy
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud

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  (301): We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud http://tfl.nu/i29s
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.

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  (403): you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off. http://tfl.nu/h9sg
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.

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  (216): oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs. http://tfl.nu/udb9
  Replies (28) Good night (647) Bad night (5980) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers

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  (724): Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers http://tfl.nu/1uct
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.

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  (203): The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11. http://tfl.nu/3slh
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone

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  (862): She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone http://tfl.nu/c8bq
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.

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  (503): You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine. http://tfl.nu/60jl
  Replies (6) Good night (1530) Bad night (486)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.

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  (406): Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues. http://tfl.nu/jvdq
  Replies (7) Good night (608) Bad night (1239)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he's gonorrhea incarnate

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  (201): he's gonorrhea incarnate http://tfl.nu/krir
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.

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  (+44): He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut. http://tfl.nu/kqfa
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time

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  (617): Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time http://tfl.nu/k7i2
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.

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  (337): he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy. http://tfl.nu/oyxi
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.

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  (503): That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it. http://tfl.nu/se2i
  Replies (4) Good night (380) Bad night (235)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  We're like a dynamic duo.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.

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  (647): We're like a dynamic duo. (1-647): Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud. http://tfl.nu/eexc
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