i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
