so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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