i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize