Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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