im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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