Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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