I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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