Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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