I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
