you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize