so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
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I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
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Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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