i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
