fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize