you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
