Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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