I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
