I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you will always have a special place in my vag
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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