i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
do nipples grow back?
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