so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
