oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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