so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
