so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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