Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
