Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
