I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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