Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
