did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize