don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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