that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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