It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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