If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No stitches, just platelets and will power
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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