sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
