you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
