so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
