Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
