just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We have started to decorate penises.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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