THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize