A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
be right there i have to get my cape
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
