HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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