There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it's like iHOP with fire
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
