Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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