Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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