Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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