I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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