i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
