I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
