my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
