i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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