so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
