Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
