That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She needs sedatives and a leash
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
