I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
