I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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