And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
