Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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