do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
