operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
