He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
