My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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