She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
