very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
