And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
