Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
