Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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