I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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