My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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